A Season for Christians

In the next eight weeks Americans will have more special gatherings than the rest of the year put together I think.  We will meet at the Thanksgiving table.  We will then find each other at the Christmas party at the office and the Christmas open house at the neighbors'.  Before you know it we will be at the table again for Christmas Eve and/or Christmas Day.  Next up is New Year's Eve.  Some of us will be toasting with others of us.  January 1 is football and football and nachos and nachos.  More cavorting. 

In all of these situations there will be someone who is lonely, someone who is not in the inner circle, someone who drinks too much, someone who overstressed, someone with a daughter who is struggling, someone with a parent with dementia, someone who is labelled the black sheep of the family, someone who dislikes his brother, someone going through a divorce, someone who's dating a member of the family, someone invited because they're a "stray," .... 

The world is divided up into guests and hosts.  Christ-followers are hosts.  They go into the above situations not trying to be saviors but asking of themselves to be servants.  They go into the avove situations asking God for less judgmentalism inside themselves and a lot of, lot of mercy.  They go into the above situations knowing that they will pull themselves away from their natural cliches and build a bridge to someone outside their circle.  They go into the above situations with prayer, "God, help me to be sensitive to your Spirit, to speak when you would have me speak, to not speak when you would have me not speak."  They go into the above situations being willing to say to someone, "I'll pray for you about that." 

You are the light of the world.  Let that light shine. 

Thank You & & &

Cocoa's family sure surprised me on Sunday!  I knew my sermon was heavy-weight and had waved off one announcement and was hoping for short children's message.  So when Kathy asked to make an announcement and wouldn't tell me what it was about, I was like the rooster to the hen who wanted for some reason to lay an egg on the highway. "Well, then I'd lay it on the line and do it quick!"  What followed was a lot of love to me and thank you, thank you.  It continued all the way to my kitchen and as I unpacked cocoa and more cocoa :) as was again blessed.  Thank you. 

I ended up in the last blog with the pastor.  I am afraid today that too often we give points to the pastor in terms of pastoral care and not in terms of pastoral leadership.  The pastor is to visit hospitals and when it comes to session, to moderate the meetings but not lead them, or so we think.  

And the session, it is thought, then provides leadership.  However, as a tour of Richmond, VA will show, there are many statues of generals and not a one of a committee.  When we go to the Bible, instead of to the secular business arena, we will find the first “elders” being suggested by Moses’ father-in-law for assistance to Moses in a great work.  If a leader is to endure, if a bottleneck is to be avoided and a work is to expand, then there must be help and delegation.  Once the elders were appointed for helping Moses and all the Hebrews manage better, we don’t find the elders sitting in judgment on Moses like a Board of Directors or him asking their permission to do this or that. 

Now just to clarify, in Presbyterian polity the pastor is a member of the session and has a vote.  So he or she is not just a moderator but a member of the session who participates in its discusssion, work, and votes. 

As I bring up the elders with Moses let me at the same time say the Bible clearly commends to us that we are part of a body and one part is not sufficient unto itself.  So others’ gifts and viewpoints are needed.  There is wisdom, the Bible continues, in counselors.  We are not talking, then, about leaders without accountability.  But we are talking about leaders leading. 

And remember the Ephesian elders who wept and enjoined Paul, by virtue of their sense of the Holy Spirit, not to return to Jerusalem?  What did he do?  Returned to Jerusalem.  The conscience of the leader (and all of us) must always act ultimately in response to God. 

If They Are Not Bothering You, They May Not Be Doing Their Job

The congregation must decide.  It is a nice statement.  But what does it mean?  The congregation is made up of people and some are bossy, some are crazy, some are quiet, some are gone for that meeting, some are just really sweet, some get what the issues are and some don’t get what the issues are. 

John Carver, who has written extensively about governing boards, reminds board members that they are trustees.  They are entrusted with the task of operating in the best interests of the organization.  One might be tempted to say, “In the best interests of the members.”  That is perfectly okay if the board members understand that the members may renege on the purpose of the organization here and there and must, therefore, be withstood.  They may renege out of short-sightedness or excessive self-interest.  Or the members may not have all the information necessary to comprehend what is best for the organization.  So boards must always be educating the very membership for whom they are trustees. 

Boards are servants of the membership as trustees not as people to whom the congregation says, “You will do what we say.”  They are to look out for the interests not of any subset but of the whole.  They are to look long term.  They are to keep fixed on the founding purpose even if members forget.  They are trustees.

So for a congregation to decide, the session must educate and lead them.  There must be process of laying the groundwork, letting ideas germinate, and getting everyone involved.  For the session to educate and lead, shouldn’t the pastor be to them what they are to be to the congregation?  Otherwise, we have a small group of the blind leading a larger group of the blind.  Or the bland leading the bland. 

One caveat – the church is a privately held company.  Trustees act on behalf of the owner who is God.  Aaron got that mixed up and built a golden calf.  He acted on behalf of the congregation rather than the owner.  If your session is always making you happy, watch out.  The session should always be making God happy.  And given our sin natures that will mean, from time to time, that their being faithful to God necessitates being firm with us. 

Do You Have a Special Call?

I was off on a Presbyterian pastor matter called CREDO for eight days.  I am grateful for the caring ways of our denomination when it comes to pastors.  But now it is time for another blogpost and what I am going to give today is NOT related to anything I have experienced recently.  I find there are some things that it is good to talk about when they are not on the front burner.  Sometimes if we talk about it in regular ol' times, we less frequently have that matter go to the front burner!  So here we go.

I have a friend, Ron, who is pastor in Texas.  He has kind of a gravelly voice and I can still hear him telling me about a conversation in a new church that began in an unnerving way for him.  I think it was the way the man approached him and made eye contact.  But it ended up as a conversation of great blessing. 

The man said, “Pastor, do you know who I am?” 

Ron replied, “No.” 

“I am a man who will take a bullet for the pastor of this church.”

This was not blind allegiance to Ron but it was dedication to the office of pastor and Ron was grateful.  It reminded me of a friend who was in the Secret Service.  I asked him about taking a bullet for a President you may not personally like.  He said that he was caring for a human being in front of personal tastes but more importantly he was protecting the office of President, a democratic decision of the American people.

Now fast forward several years and I will give you a conversation as a pastor with a church member of my own.  Steve seemed very quiet to me.  Maybe he was shy or uncomfortable around church.  I couldn’t tell.  But the first words I remember hearing from Steve were, “I am called to help pastors.  So whatever you need, please let me know.  Is there a way I can help you today?”  He kept that up until I finally really did ask him to help me with something I really did need. 

I know that there are stories of pastors who are bulls-in-a-china-shop.  And they need love plus truth just like everyone else.  But there are also a lot of stories of pastors getting roundly criticized, of the prevailing wind not being forgiveness or respect but something grumpier.    Just like in a marriage where you can love yourself if you’ll love your partner well, so in a church.  If you love your church, love your pastor! 

There is no pastor who’s perfect.  There’s no church member who’s perfect.  I like the small group curriculum where everyone begins by asking for forgiveness because in the course of doing real life together we’re going to offend one another.  Let’s admit the difficulties we all face in doing church together and move forward. 

Paul tells us to esteem and honor church leaders.  It is a tough job being out in front and viewed by many, many others who can be armchair quarterbacks.  So let’s watch gossip.  Let’s shovel on encouragement and prayers.  Amen?   Amen.

So Let Me Ask

Let me ask about asking people to be elders –

a.  Are they familiar with the vows they will be asked to take? 

b.  Are they aware that they should not be an elder if they are not giving financially to the church? 

c.  Are they informed as to what training and examinations are required?

d.  Are they aware of when the meetings are and how many they are allowed to miss? 

e.  Are they advised that they need to be supporters of the pastor? 

f.  Are they aware that they are required not to press the agenda of a sub-group of the church or even their own but only that of Jesus Christ? 

g.  Are they ready to pray daily for the church and attend very regularly being leaders when they are present?

h.  Are they aware there are four answers they can make – an unhealthy no, an unhealthy yes, a healthy no, and a healthy yes? 

i.  Has a time frame that is specific (not open ended) been given as to when the reply to the invitation needs to be given?

           

How to Get People to Turn You Down

How You Ask

            “You probably wouldn’t want to being that it is such a tedious and time consuming job but I thought I would ask you anyway.” 

            “I don’t know much about what the job entails but you know it is important and only takes three years and you will probably be on the property committee.” 

            “Listen, we are really desperate because we are up against a deadline and five people have turned us down already.  Would you do it?” 

            Contrast the above with the knock at the door of the pastor’s study.  The little church was a four hour drive from Richmond, VA.  Pastor Mayes opened the door surprised to see the President of Union Seminary standing there.  “Jim, may I come in?”  What ensued was a story and a request and an invitation.  The man who was so busy had made time for a personal visit to convey that the faculty of the venerable institution had met and prayed for many weeks about the future of the seminary and particularly of the Old Testament department.  They had felt led through that process, and in a unanimous way, to ask Pastor Mayes to get a PhD at their expense and then become one of the seminary professors.  How is this “ask” different than the three above? 

            Sometimes it isn’t that good people turn us down as much as we asked in such a way as that it was almost bound to happen.  Don’t you want to know when asked to do something what the job entails, how much time it will take, who you will be doing it with, the grand themes of the leadership, the decision making process behind the request, why you are thought to be qualified?  Too often people have been asked to be an elder and what is in their mind is three hour meetings over the color of the carpet in fellowship hall and cantankerous church politics.  An unless you have a perverse penchant for that sort of thing, you guilt yourself into doing it or you say, “Please, shoot me instead.” 

Like Leader Like People -- Part III

This is the third installment regarding advice or instructions for a nominating committee. 

Eighth, walk through this process with honesty, grace, and confidentiality.  None of us is perfect and none of us knows perfectly.  Nevertheless, we must talk honestly.  We may disqualify someone without looking down on them.  So we give ourselves this permission and it only works if we maintain that our deliberations are confidential.  The group may say what the limits of this are with respect to spouse. 

Ninth, I prefer that everyone finds out who is on the slate at the same time and I prefer it to happen at the congregational meeting or the week just prior.  This saves us from last minute second guessing of the committee by the congregation or them politicking for an alternate.  Alternates, of course, are permissible from the floor.  Note, however, that the extra name adds to our ballot without the benefit of committee discussion or candidate prayer.  It also lead to votes in which someone wins and someone loses. 

Tenth, pray not only before and after and in-between meetings but during them as well. 

Eleventh, how a person is asked makes a difference in how they respond and serve.  If the asking is lackadaisical, the person’s chance of saying no may increase.  And if they say yes, their serving may reflect that this wasn’t all that important. We’ll talk about how to ask in the most meaningful ways.  Please, if you are asked to ask someone, contact them not with the invite but with a request to meet in person with the pastor.

Twelth, your pastors are ex-officio members meaning that they serve on this committee perpetually.  They are also without vote.  But they are not without voice.  Don’t meet without a quorum.  Don’t meet without the pastors. 

Thirteenth, the nominating committee is for the year in the event that any vacancies arise.

Fourteenth, a simple process for moving along to a final slate is to have everyone bring a pre-determined number of names, to list them, to have everyone vote for their top four (or however many names are being placed on the slate), to tally and drop those without votes, and to refine the list further by discussion plus further voting.  A permutation on this method is to rank order each person’s top four candidates with the tally reflecting the rank position (for example, Joe Smith 1 +3 +1 +1 =6 and Mary Jones 2+ 2+ 3 +3 =10).  Discuss and refine by voting from those with the best scores.

Thank you for your service to Jesus Christ and this church.